笑话的英文 英语小笑话带翻译爆笑

　　笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。小编整理了爆笑英语小笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!

　　There was a little girl whose mother was very strict. Her mother tried to make her daughter behave in a very decent manner, but the girl was still three and half years old. One day the family went to a party, and in the middle of the party the girl cried, "Mommy I want to go restroom.” This drew a lot of attention and the mother felt embarrassed about her daughter. At home she advised that whenever she wants to go to restroom she should say, "I want to sing.”

　　有一个小女孩，她的妈妈对她特别严厉。她妈妈试图让小女孩的举止端庄，但是这个女孩只有三岁半。一天一家人去参加一个聚会，在聚会当中小女孩哭着说:“妈妈，我想上厕所。”这吸引了许多人的注意，母亲也因为她女儿的行为而感到尴尬。回到家中，她要求女儿不管什么时候只要想上厕所就说:“我想唱首歌。”

　　After a couple of days the girl’s grandfather came to visit them. She liked her grandfather very much. At night, she slept with her grandfather, who put her to sleep with a story. After couple of hours, she woke up and said，"Grandpa I want to sing.”The grandpa was afraid of causing a disturbance past midnight if the girl began singing, so he told her in a very low voice, "Baby if you want to sing, sing in my ears.”

　　过了几天，女孩儿的外公来看她和妈妈。小女孩非常喜欢她的外公。晚上，她和给她讲故事的外公一起睡。过了几个小时，她起来说:“外公，我想唱首歌。”外公害怕她如果在半夜唱歌会打搅别人，所以就用非常低沉的声音告诉她:“宝贝，如果你想唱，那么就在外公的耳边唱吧。”

　　Two guys recently dead were given the option to stay either in Heaven or Hell fog the rest of their eternity. They asked if it was OK to look around first, and to their surprise,it was.First, they went to Heaven. All niceguys were there, dressed in white they sat on clouds playing harp. Quite a boring place, thought our heroes.

　　两个家伙死了之后，被允许选择是愿意呆在天堂还是地狱。他们提出能否到两个地方先观光一下，他们被允许了。首先他们来到了天堂。这里都是穿着白衣服看上去很正派的人，他们坐在白云上弹奏着竖琴。他们想:这是个多无聊的地方呀。

　　"Let' s go to Hell，”they said to each other.

　　“让我们下地狱吧，”他们互相商量着。

　　Hell turned out to be a completely different scene. It was all bars, casino andamusement parks. Free drinks for everyone and a lot of people having a real good time.Back from Hell，the guys were asked to choose between Heaven and Hell. They both chose Hell.

　　他们来到了地狱，这里简直是一番完全不同的景色。那里有酒吧、赌场和游乐园。每个人都可以免费喝酒，所有的人都享受着他们真正的快乐时光。当他们从地狱回来以后，他们不得不在天堂和地狱之间做出选择。最后，他们都选择了下地狱。

　　Back in Hell, they were immediately scuffled in the back of a sub-surface car and driven to a coalmine. Someone gave them a shovel each and told them to start working.

　　回到了地狱之后，他们立即被送进了一辆矿井车的后座，然后驶向了一个煤矿井。有人给他们每人一个铲子，叫他们开始工作。

　　"What' s this? The last time we were here the place was entirely different.”

　　“这是怎么回事?上次我们在这里的时候完全不是这样的。”

　　"Yes, but then you were tourists, now you are immigrants.

　　“是的，但是那时你们是游客，现在你们是移民。”

　　In the army a company of soldiers decided to have some fun with their company cook, a short, fat, very un-martial young man. So every morning before he woke up, one of them would defecate into his boot. The amazing thing was that the cook accepted this treatment silently. Every morning he would clean out his boot and go to work as if nothing was wrong.

　　军队里的一个连的士兵决定捉弄捉弄他们连的炊事员，一个又矮又胖又弱小的年轻人。就这样，每天早上在他睡醒之前，一个士兵会往他的靴子里大便。令人吃惊的是这个炊事员平静地接受了这种待遇。每天早上他都会弄干净他的靴子然后若无其事地去工作。

　　After several weeks of this, the soldiers began to tire of the game; it wasn't very much fun because the cook never reacted, and they were beginning to feel guilty as well. So they sent a delegation to apologize to him and promise to mend their ways. The cook heard them out, and then said, "You are going to stop shitting in my boots? Fine, then I will stop pissing in your coffee.”

　　就这样过了几个星期，士兵们开始厌烦了这种游戏。因为那个炊事员从来没有任何反应，使得这种捉弄根本没那么有意思，也让他们觉得有些内疚。所以，他们派了一个代表去向那个炊事员道歉并保证以后不再那么做了。当那个炊事员听他们说出了真相后说:“你们真的不往我的靴子里大便了?那好吧，那我也不再往你们的咖啡里小便了。”

　　
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